if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
