I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
