We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
