Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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