I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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