They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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