this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
