She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize