At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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