Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
