i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
