I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
