We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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