Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
