did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize