u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
