The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
