just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
