Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
