Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
