Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
