Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize