he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
