So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
