He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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