the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
