I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
