meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
