my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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