remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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