ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
