the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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