Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
