I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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