The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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