He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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