I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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