Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
