whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
