ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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