If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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