Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dear god my vagina.
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