A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
