Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
