you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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