I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
