I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
