Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
bring money and cleavage
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
