it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
