His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
