I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
