chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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