I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
