Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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