remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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