is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
