there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
