great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
40s are totally the cure
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
