Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
