he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
where are my eyebrows?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
