WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
