I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize