New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
