Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
