if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
