I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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