I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
